


My Boy

by askarella



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Death, Episode 13 spoilers, Gen, Mutilation mention, Nott was a mother, Past loss of child, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 04:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14229504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askarella/pseuds/askarella
Summary: Nott was a mother and was robbed of that- Caleb fills the hole in her heart. Non-romance, rated for violence description.





	My Boy

 

 

 

When she found him in the cell, it was less than a year after she watched a group of humans slaughter her son. 

He was shivering, and afraid even as she was tossed in the cell, too timid to even look at her. Though she knew he was fully grown, he reminded her so much of her son that her hatred of humans was quelled enough for her to not snarl at him. His face was dirty and beaten, with dried blood in his scruffy beard. 

“I won’t hurt you,” She said in her most motherly voice. “Not unless you hurt me first,” 

“A-alright,” His voice was shaky and accented and charming. “Are you a halfling?”

“Goblin, sadly,” She walked to him and sat down. “They caught me when I was-”   _ When I was extracting vengeance for my son, when I was looting their corpses for anything of his, when I was trying to find my boy’s bones in their fucking lab, when- _ “-when I was stealing trinkets from some alchemists,” She twiddled her thumbs slowly, “I found something there, that was mine, that I made-” Her fists clenched as she thought of her son’s skull, the way the alchemists were using it as a cup. “I managed- managed to swallow some of it before the guardsmen caught me,” She thought back to finding her boy’s teeth in a silver ring box, of swallowing it hurriedly before she was captured. 

“That was very brave of you,” The human said, “How did you know it was yours?”

“I spent the better part of a year making it, I would know it anywhere…” She sighed and patted his head, “I’m Nott, what’s your name?”

“Caleb,” He said softly, “How are you going to get your things back?”

“Well- well, I’m going to throw it back up once I’m out of here,” She looked at her hands, “Then go back for the rest,”

“Do you have a plan to get out?” He asked with interest, “And may I join you?”

“My plan is to kill my way out, or die trying,” She said, “I have nothing to live for any more- my clan sold me and what I made to the alchemists, and they destroyed what I made, so I have no home to go to,”

“Or- or we could get out of here together,” Caleb suggested, “I know some magic… t might help, or it might not…”

“If it doesn’t work, and I die…” She looked him in the eyes, “Gut me and give both me and the silver box in my stomach a proper burial. Put him in my hands, so I can hold him one last time,”

Caleb’s eyebrows raised, then he promised. The pair eventually escaped, and Nott regurgitated the box and removed the full set of jagged baby goblin teeth to ensure that they were okay. She sighed in relief when she saw them unharmed, then pocketed them and returned to Caleb.

Over the next year, her heart grew fonder and fonder of this human, and she found herself thinking of him with the same emotions she had her son while the boy had lived. Caleb was so bright, so magical, and so unsure of himself. When he showed her magic he was so excited, so full of life and joy. 

The night they arrived in Trostenwald, while Caleb slept, Nott finally had a funeral. The teeth and their box and all the trinkets she had collected for her son went into a shallow grave on the outskirts of town as she sang a wordless lament, her voice cracked and harsh and raspy, tears flowing down her cheeks as she allowed herself to feel fully her sorrow- no fury or fear tinging it, just the sorrow of her loss.

When her lament ended, she filled the grave and began to talk. “My son, I miss you so much,” She started, “I know you were only two, but you- you were my world. I loved you, with everything I had and more… and I know, if we weren’t goblins that you would have grown up into a good man, not butchered like an animal by humans… I found a brother for you, his name is Caleb. He’s very smart, and a wizard… and I love him very much. You were my first born, my first love, my everything… but Caleb… he’s my boy… and I’ll protect him, I’ll protect him like I was unable to protect you.”

She patted the grave’s dirt down firmly, then walked back to the inn. Caleb was still asleep, propped against the wall. She wiped the tears from her face and took his head in her hands, and touched their foreheads.

“I love you…” She whispered, “And I will protect you… my boy…”

  
  


 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> That episode killed me... find me on twitter for fanart here: https://twitter.com/ArellasMercy  
> tumblr here: arellasmercy.tumblr.com


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